​If you’ve gone through the grieving process, you will probably relate to this post. If you don’t want to read something so sad, involving pet death, then please skip this post.

​A year and ten months ago, my husband and I had to say goodbye to our first dog, Thatcher, who was suffering from an inoperable brain tumor. February 17, 2024, was one of the worst days of my entire life. (Read this post if you want details.)
 
But since then, I’ve slowly been feeling better. Little by little, the grief has ebbed. But grief isn’t a linear process, as I knew before but am experiencing now.
 
Late last month, my sister’s dog (her first dog she owned as an adult, like Thatcher was mine) was diagnosed suddenly with an aggressive form of cancer. He was 11 but had been—or seemed—perfectly fine, and still fairly athletic . . . until he wasn’t. Less than two weeks after his diagnosis, he was gone. There was nothing they could do but make him comfortable, and they ended up having to put him to sleep to end his misery, like we had to do for Thatcher.
 
Well, let me tell you, my grief over my own dog—my own baby—came rushing back like a tidal wave even as I shared in my sister’s grief. All the awful memories of watching Thatcher get worse and worse and then having to do the “terrible, merciful thing” came flooding back, along with many, many tears. It was so fresh all over again, like a knife to the heart.
 
I’m glad, though, that at least Oscar and I had a couple of months with Thatcher after his diagnosis, which is when the grieving process really started. I hate suddenness and surprises (bad ones, at least) and I believe God almost always gives me warnings about things ahead of time because He knows it’s harder for me to cope with sudden shocks. Like when my baby brother died, when I was a teen, I had a dream about it a few weeks beforehand. And there have been other situations like that I won’t get into. But PTL that He has been gentle with me and usually eases me into things.
 
It’s been a week or so since I started writing this post (interruptions, leave me the frick alone!!) and I’m feeling somewhat better now. But I’m sure there will be more surges of grief. Maybe next time I see my sister, in about a week or so.
 
Even though this holiday season isn’t going the way we wanted—I’ve been sick a lot too—we still have so much to be thankful for, and especially that my family members are doing okay. I have a beautiful niece now and it’s her first Christmas . . . can’t wait to spoil her when she visits and see the excitement on her adorable chubby face! <3
 
Cycles of birth and death, and the world keeps moving around me like it always does. I will jump back in when I’m ready, but for the rest of the year, I would like to withdraw as much as possible and rest and recover from everything. I am reading a cozy Christmas fantasy romance now and enjoying lots of treats.
 
I hope you finish the year soft too. Take care of yourself and be gentle with yourself. Christmas is about love, especially God’s love for all of us.
 
See you in 2026.

P.S. In the picture at the top is my childhood dog (yellow Lab), my bro’s first dog (Pomchi), Thatcher (cream Shiba), and sis’s dog (hound).

Recently, in his sermon series on Exodus, my pastor was talking about liminal space. The place in between places, a place you’re just passing through. A quick Google search says it’s the sort of place “that evokes feelings of ambiguity and unease, often occurring during times of change or in places that are empty, abandoned, or feel ‘off’.”
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Yeah, that really resonates with me.

​The Israelites wandered through the wilderness for 40 years. Can you imagine doing that?? Well, I just had a birthday that’s a couple of years past that number, and I’m starting to think I can.
 
I’ve never been homeless or a nomad, but nevertheless, my whole life has felt like liminal space. Like I’ve never really belonged anywhere. I’ve never been truly sure what to do in social situations (ambiguity) or comfortable anywhere (unease). I mean, I guess maybe at home, but not as much as I felt like I should have. Not as much as everyone else seems to be. Even though my family is awesome.
 
I’m so grateful that now I understand I’m not alone in this regard—this liminality (Ah, that is a word!) is the lifelong experience of people who are neurodivergent. About three years ago, I finally realized I’m AuDHD, and that has gone a LONG way toward helping me make sense of and have peace of mind about my personality, my habits and needs, and my past traumatic experiences (like every day at school). Now I get why I’m daily “bombarded” by things like bright lights, loud noises, uncomfortable feelings from clothing and crowds, etc., and why I find it so hard to understand most people and their “weird” behavior/words.
 
I also now realize that liminality is part of my main character, Melanie’s, experience too—flowing naturally and unconsciously out of me, her author. When I wrote Hunter’s Moon, I wasn’t trying to describe the neurodivergent experience, wasn’t even aware of that word or that it fit me. I was just writing what I knew, as the advice goes.
 
Like I am, Melanie is caught between two worlds: her old, normal college life and her painful, secretive, dangerous new existence as a werewolf. There are things most people from her old life—even her good friends—don’t know and can’t understand about her, and she tries hard to hide them, similar to the way I have “masked” all my life.
 
I guess the cursed werewolf bite was my way of throwing her into the “wilderness of testing.” Heh, sorry, Mel... But God, our Author, always has His reasons and always knows what He is doing. He didn’t just have His people wander around that challenging, painful place for 40 years for no reason. He was teaching them His ways and to depend on Him. He gave them grace (rescued them from slavery) and then He taught them His laws (the very best way to live—for their good).
 
He’s done that with me, too. I know He designed me wonderfully, and I wouldn’t change who I am. Even though it means my whole life has been and will be difficult. It’s just teaching me to rely more on Him and honing my character. Someday I will forever be in a place where I am known, loved, understood, and accepted by everyone.
 
Until then...I write, and I pray, and I try to give grace and empathy to everyone, because we’re all in some sort of wilderness from time to time.
 
How to wrap this up? Hmmm.
 
Well, if this post resonates with you, and if you like werewolf books and fantasy, check out Hunter’s Moon!

​Well, here I am, posting again after 9 months. It’s been . . . a rough year. Won’t go into details, but at least it hasn’t been as bad as what I’ve put my main character through. ;P

​I’ve spent most of the year in a funk. Not only do I still miss Thatcher (he died exactly 10 months ago today), but I’ve been sick a LOT and down in the dumps, not only from losing my precious fur-baby, and all the physical illness and nasty meds I’ve been on, but just the world in general’s been a super-crazy and super-stressful place. Especially here in America with the election insanity. Soooo glad we’re past that now!! (Well, basically. :P) Ugh, no more political talk—trying to cheer myself up, here. . . .
 
Hopefully next year, I will slowly climb out of this mental morass and feel more like myself again. TBH: I’ve been too messed-up to write much. Have done a bit, and done some editing of book 2, but it has a way to go. Can’t say when it’ll be done/published. I think I’d been overextending myself for the past, I dunno, half a decade maybe? Trying to be an editor, writer, publisher, housewife, dog mom, and all the things while battling a chronic illness. And this year, it all caught up with me and I just crashed and needed to pull back and take better care of myself. (Which apparently includes bingeing a lot of anime and manga, heh. An old special-interest coming around again!)
 
There’s not much else to say, and I’ve got to get back to working on Thinklings stuff, trying to get ahead so I don’t have to do much over the holidays.
 
Merry Christmas / Happy Holidays / Happy New Year! I’ll see you in 2025, and I hope it’s better than 2024—for all of us. I get the feeling a lot of people besides me have had a bad year, too. Take care of yourself. <3
 
 
P.S. – Had to include a cute pic of Toshi, who’s settling in nicely. He’s a very sweet, kissy boy and a mama’s boy! :) Full of energy, *she says exhaustedly*. He’ll be 3 years old next Monday! <3
 
P.P.S. – Don’t worry that I’m in too bad of a place/mindset. I know everything will turn out okay because of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ; He’s what has really kept me going and not in the total depths of despair. Who knows how dark of a place I’d be in, otherwise . . . But I believe I’ll see Thatcher again, and other loved ones I’ve lost. And yes, Sam Gamgee, “everything sad is going to come untrue” for those who love the Lord—the only source of beauty, truth, and goodness (and who is, Himself, all those things).

A couple of weeks ago, Oscar and I adopted a new dog! Introducing Toshi the Collie mix! :) <3

We got Toshi from a place called Rescue Village, so yeah, he's a rescue like Thatcher was. (I still really miss my sweet, precious Thatcher and always will....)

Toshi's about 2 years old, 32 lbs., and just a bundle of love and kisses! Very energetic!! Whew, I'm having to adjust to keeping up with a young, healthy, hyper pup again! (:  ...Not that Thatcher was ever hyper for us. We got him at age 4, so I haven't had a really young dog since I was a kid. And Thatcher was always pretty chill and rather catlike, heh. Independent and not snuggly, unlike Toshi! They're about the same size, but that's probably where the similarities end. Oh, and Thatcher was a daddy's boy, but Toshi is a mama's boy! Yay, it's my turn!! <3

It's funny how our first dog was a Japanese breed (Shiba Inu) with a non-Japanese name, and now we have a non-Japanese breed with a Japanese name! Hehe. (It's pronounced like "toe" and "she", btw. Since people keep saying the first syllable like "tah" I thought I should clarify.)

We're not sure what he's mixed with, but they said his mom is a Smooth Collie. We did a DNA test on him, though, and can't wait to find out the results!!

Oh yeah, and Toshi has not barked yet, not even once. He's made little whiny, fussy noises, but no woofs or yips! Thatcher only barked occasionally, although when we first met him at the shelter, he was barking his head off (because all the other dogs were). It'll be interesting to find out if Toshi ever decides to bark or not. I wonder if his previous owners punished him for barking or something.... He wasn't abused, but he was kept tied in a barn. So glad we can give him a much better life. <3 <3 <3

All right, well, back to work! Here are a bunch of adorable photos we've taken of Toshi so far...enjoy! <3

​This month has been really hard. Actually, this whole winter has been really hard. Not just because it’s cold and gray and the sunshine is (usually) lacking and my health isn’t so great right now—aside from the frigid air making it harder for me to breathe, I also have a lung infection, MAC, that is going to require a year of nasty treatment, and I still have about 8 months of it left. So I’ve been pretty miserable, physically . . . but that’s not the worst of it.
 
No, the worst part of this winter is that last week my beloved pup, Thatcher, passed away. (If you’re sensitive to reading about pet loss or death and grief in general, you probably shouldn’t read on.)

​My sweet baby Thatcher (who was 12) was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor just 3 days before Christmas. So yeah, it was a really awful Christmas, and I spent half of it crying, just seeing him lying there looking so sick and out-of-it, wearing a diaper because he couldn’t hold his pee for very long anymore. He was still getting used to the phenobarbital they put him on, to prevent further seizures, and also a steroid to reduce brain inflammation.
 
We had taken him to the animal ER on December 22 after jingling tags and scrabbling claws woke us in the early morning, and we found him on the bathroom floor having a bad seizure. Our vet wasn’t open that day, so we had to find a place that was, and Oscar and I ended up spending several hours at an unfamiliar animal hospital waiting nervously and then sorrowfully after they told us the verdict: our baby probably only had a few weeks or a couple months left to live. All they could do was give him meds for palliative care.
 
Thatcher started doing better for a while, after getting used to the meds, and they helped his appetite return. He seemed in good spirits and started walking around again, although he would bump into things and sometimes go in circles when we walked him outside. But he was still willing and able to make it around the block until around Valentine’s Day, and for a while we thought—hoped—that maybe, just maybe, the vet was wrong and our boy wasn’t really that sick. Thanks to the meds, he never had any more seizures.
 
Well, it sucks how things gradually creep up on you and you don’t even notice until there’s been quite a change. He had lost a good deal of weight, although (since he’d been chubby) his ribs weren’t showing like they were when we first brought him home from the shelter in 2016. I’d noticed the weight loss but had no idea it was 15 whole pounds! He was down to 30 pounds . . . which made it possible for me to carry him when I needed to, which definitely helped because Oscar and I ended up doing a good amount of carrying him. We didn’t want him to jump into the car or go up or down stairs anymore—at least our own house is a ranch and doesn’t have any staircases, just a couple of short steps to get up into the house, which Thatcher could manage. Up until the last day or two of his life.
 
He started going in circles more and more, stumbling around and falling, so I shortened our walks and tried to keep him in the grass rather than on hard concrete. There hasn’t been as much snow as usual this winter, which was a mercy—although Thatcher loved snow (we think he was part Husky), I do not, and inclement weather makes it harder to walk any dog, of course. Especially a sick one.
 
I did my best on our final walks, typically through frigid blasts of wind, my lungs burning and my heart pounding (my meds are doing all kinds of lovely things to my body, and the MAC sometimes causes chest pain). One pathetic creature walking another. We took extra walks to save money on diapers, so I was taking him out 3x/day instead of 2. Since we don’t have a fenced-in yard, Thatcher was used to doing his business while circling the block and wouldn’t just do it in the yard. Plus, he absolutely loved going on walks; it was his favorite thing, and we let him do what he wanted to do. Thank God I never had to carry Thatcher very far because I’m not sure if I could’ve done it. He started taking breaks in the middle of walks, lying down and resting for a few minutes, and I would just crouch down next to him and stroke his beautiful, soft fluff and tell him how much I loved him and wished I could make him better. Then he’d struggle back to his feet and carry on—honestly, I have never seen a more resilient animal. He was so determined, had such a will to go on. Later Oscar said he thinks it’s because Thatcher loved us so much and wanted to stay with us as long as possible. (Yes, I cried when he said that. And I think he might be right.)
 
On Saturday, February 17, we woke up and greeted Thatcher as usual, only to find him very lethargic and weak. He’d been having diarrhea for a few weeks, despite us putting him on a diet of chicken and rice and trying other things we were told to do, and we had a big mess to clean up, including his legs and belly. His back legs had grown so weak by that point, we discovered that day that he couldn’t walk anymore. As I knelt down cleaning off my baby, I lifted his back legs—something he normally hated and protested—to wipe them, but he offered no resistance at all. His legs felt so limp and floppy . . . and I slowly realized he was at his limit. His valiant spirit was giving way along with his body. After we got the mess all cleaned, we laid him in his bed, and Oscar and I had the worst conversation we’ve ever had.
 
We knew what we had to do, we knew it was right, and our parents agreed when we called them, but it still felt like stabbing ourselves in the heart. Oscar made the calls and found a vet with an appointment that day. We just . . . didn’t want to prolong our boy’s suffering any more, though it meant hastening our own. I never knew mercy could be so brutal, so painful.
 
I got a taste* that day, I think, of what God’s love for us feels like. He put us before Himself, before His own comfort and pleasure; He walked around in frail flesh for more than 3 decades in harsh conditions, gently leading our poor, sick, dying selves; and in the end, He allowed the ultimate pain to be inflicted upon Himself, for our sake, because it was the only way to bring us peace. Cancer (like my dog’s tumor) is a great metaphor for sin, and who knows how long you have it without even knowing about it. Even knowing about it, we try to fool ourselves and think that we’re okay. It just snuck up on us, at the end, how bad our poor pup had gotten. I wonder how long he had it before his diagnosis.
 
Anyway, it’s not my intent to preach. I’m sorry for putting up such a sad post this month. I’m not sorry for writing it, because it’s been very cathartic typing all of this and chronicling this difficult season of my life. I’ve had the hardest time focusing on reading and writing since Thatcher’s diagnosis, haven’t done much of those 2 things at all since then, and this is finally helping me get back into writing again.
 
Hopefully, my next post will be much lighter. Next month is my birthday, the start of spring, and longer and warmer days are coming. I suppose next month we will start looking for another dog.
 
I don’t really want to think about that right now, though. I spent all of Saturday and Sunday crying, and this week I’ve been experiencing all the hard “firsts”—the first time waking up and he’s not there to feed, take care of, pet, and talk lovingly to. The first time Oscar came home from work and only had me to greet him. The first time cooking meat and Thatcher’s not standing next to me begging for some; it was weird and sad putting all of the meat in our food instead of setting some aside for him. I miss spoiling him. I miss petting his soft, thick fur and giving him hugs and kisses. Seeing his beautiful big brown eyes and his freckly nose and his ears perk up and that big, sweet puppy grin. It was hard seeing his things lying around or hanging on hooks, so we put most of his stuff away in a box in the closet for now with the half-bag of kibble that’s left. The house is too quiet and empty. I miss hearing the click-clack of his claws on the hard floor, the jingle of his tags. He rarely barked, but more than hearing him around I could feel him around, feel his warm and loving presence, that sweetness that was waiting and available for me while I worked in my home office—I could go and pet him and talk to him at any time . . . but now I can’t. It’s just me here, alone, trying to keep busy and be productive so I don’t sit around crying. At least I always have a lot of work to do. Distraction helps. I’ve been watching some of my favorite anime shows and episodes, because TV pulls me in better than books do (freaking ADHD).
 
I think the gush of words is about over. Going without writing for a couple of months is not always the greatest. But I hope in that time, I’ve learned some things, gained wisdom and experience. Seasons begin and they end. My greatest hope and comfort is that, through it all, my God remains constant and faithful and will never, ever leave me or forsake me. One day I will be with Him in peace forever, and I believe I will see my baby again too.

​*I mean a very small taste; it’s not like we had to die for Thatcher, although a part of our hearts died with him. We loved our boy so, so much. All I mean is putting someone else’s needs before our own, even when it’s very painful.
 
And if you’re thinking, “He was just a dog,” well, we tried to have kids and never succeeded. Adoption fell through, in strange circumstances that seemed like God Himself closed the door. Then I started a business and had to start taking some meds that definitely cause miscarriage, and the chances of having a child just slipped away from us. (I’m at peace with that now.) So our dog has been our only baby.

[I first published this article on Medium.com late last year.]

It’s time for me to address this topic because, unfortunately, I’ve just had my heart broken* by a book that started out with excellent disability representation only to crash and burn in the final third. What happened? In broad strokes, the author did not understand the ultimate consequences of disability. That failure, as you will see below, can have a disastrous effect on readers, both disabled and otherwise. As someone who has battled a serious, incurable autoimmune disease for more than 17 years, I care deeply about this topic, and so I’m going to show you how to write disabled and/or chronically ill people** well. But first, let me explain why writing them well is important.

Why Writing Disability Well Is Important

In order to explain this one, let me talk about the biggest negative disability trope: what TVTropes calls “Bury Your Disabled.” Historically, disabled characters have been killed off disproportionately in books, often with the connotation not only that the disabled can’t protect themselves but also that it’s better to be dead than disabled.

Take a second to imagine that you are disabled, possibly that you have been struggling for years to survive. Now consider the psychological consequences of being told again and again and again and again by the very stories meant to lift you up and teach you lessons . . . that you’re useless and would be better off dead.
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Think about it. Think about how you’d feel.

Or consider the trope Throwing Off the Disability. As TVTropes explains, “This trope can provoke the implication that any disabled person who doesn’t throw off their disability must somehow want to remain disabled.”

Chronically ill and disabled people are people, and we are also people who tend to think about our own deaths more than the average human being does. It’s not that we’re trying to; it’s that we have no choice! So being told we’re better off dead, that we soon will be dead, or that we’re only disabled because we want to be, is horrifically harmful. Especially when we’re being told that by the very books we’re reading for pleasure, by the very books we’re using to distract ourselves from our own deaths.

On the other hand, when books show us how we can live (both literally and mentally), they help us live in reality!
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Does this mean you can never kill off or cure a disabled character? Of course not. But as Fay Onyx on Mythcreants puts it, “Knowing that violence happens to disabled characters more often . . . err on the side of not killing disabled characters. . . . Because there aren’t many awesome disabled characters for people to identify with, having living disabled characters with meaningful futures in front of them is all the more important” (emphasis mine).
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As an author, you have the unique opportunity to help break this cycle and improve the lives of your readers.
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Or to do them even more harm.

The Solution: Good Writing and Marketing Technique

Different genres and subgenres have different audiences, tropes, and expectations—and I’ll get to the importance of knowing your audience in a moment. But first, let’s talk generally about what makes good and bad characters.

In any piece of writing, one of the ideals for a good character is one who is well-rounded and feels real, so that the reader can say, “Hey, I’ve known someone like that!” They have likes, dislikes, hobbies, quirks, strengths, and weaknesses . . . regardless of whether they’re the protagonist, antagonist, or something in between.

Real human beings are never defined by a single term. If your character’s sole attribute is that she’s disabled—or black or a woman or an archeologist—then she’s a bad character. Instead, she should be a person who is influenced by all these factors and more but remains, at her core, a person first, and everything else second.

One major trope to be aware of is a disabled villain whose disability makes him more fearsome or deformed. There are plenty of famous disabled villains—Darth Vader and Captain Hook spring to mind—but the question is: is Darth Vader more intimidating because he’s disabled, and that is the entire reason he’s disabled? Or is his disability merely one part of his complex character—one that affects but does not define him? Now, of course, some people really do find disability to be intimidating, and so you might have characters who find Darth Vader intimidating specifically because he is disabled. Whether this is harmful or not depends on whether the narrative agrees with them. As the author and the narrator, you are not a passive source; you are able to provide subtle commentary on whether characters’ perceptions are accurate.

Writers make the exact same mistake when they make a character sweet, innocent, and pure because they’re disabled. Again, think of this in terms of race, gender, occupation, or social class: is she an awesome character because she’s disabled or black or a woman or an archeologist or obsessed with a man—or is she a disabled, black, female archeologist with a complex psychology who is made fascinating because of the way in which she goes about finding a lost city on Pluto? And this might be made easier or more difficult by one of her attributes, but she herself is not defined by those attributes.

Disabled people are people, not symbols. Good characters reflect that.

Knowing Your Audience

The book that recently broke my heart made plenty of references to the character’s disability right off the bat, including the first paragraph of the back-cover summary. The premise of the book, established in that same summary, was about making sure this character lived to fulfill his prophesied destiny; and he was an extremely loveable character, too. The subgenre wasn’t grimdark. The overall tone was hopeful. There were no hints that I noticed in the first two-thirds or so of the book that he might actually die; his health was fine, and he certainly didn’t want to die. All of this screams, “He’s going to live!” But in the end, he didn’t.

I felt utterly betrayed. Of course I did. This is a classic example of both deceptive marketing and an author failing to keep his narrative promises. No doubt the author did this because he wanted a surprise plot twist—but this is where knowing your audience comes in.

To put it another way: You can throw a surprise party for your healthy, extroverted teenage nephew that you know he’ll love, or you can throw one for your 100-year-old grandma that’ll give her a literal heart attack.

If you want to write a disabled character, please consider the impact that your representation will have on your readers. If you are concerned that a certain number of your readers might be harmed by your book, then there are plenty of ways to establish narrative promises and marketing to warn them of what is to come: establish an atmosphere of tragedy in the first chapter. You can supplement this in the summary for your book or on your website, but good writing will have it in the writing itself. And, of course, you can have plot twists, but they need to be foreshadowed properly to be any good. (For more on what narrative promises are and how they’re important, watch this video.)

Summary

Disabled people are people too, with personalities as full and rich and complex as any other human’s, and they deserve to be treated as such. But they haven’t been, historically, in fiction or in reality. That needs to change. It’s (past) time to break the cycle.

People with disabilities tend toward having poorer mental health, and they also comprise fiction’s largest under-represented minority group. They’re longing for not just more but better representation, and it needs to be done in a kind and respectful way that considers the unique situation of this demographic.

Aside from making sure to use good writing and marketing techniques, writers also need to do thorough research. Read about the personal experiences of people who have the illness/disability, not just about the clinical side and symptoms of it. If you are a writer with a disability, I encourage you to incorporate disabled characters in your work. I’ve done this myself: my urban-fantasy novel, Hunter’s Moon, uses werewolves as a metaphor for chronic illness. The main character goes through intense physical pain each month, and her mental health suffers too: she feels alone, isolated, scared, and desperate; she goes to great lengths to hide her condition. She feels unable to fit in and unable to be understood. Like I have felt, like many disabled people have felt, she feels like there is a gap between other people and her.

Writing can bridge that gap. According to a study posted by the National Library of Medicine, “Research has shown that writing narratives can increase perspective taking and empathy toward other people, which may engender more positive attitudes.”

So please: write thoughtfully and write well. We can do this.


— — — — — — — — —

​*If you want to read the angry rant I wrote on the topic, click here.

**For the sake of brevity, I’m going to use the term “disabled” to mean both, as there is significant overlap.

​As promised last month, here are the rest of the fiction books that I’ve read this year:

The Ship of the Dead by Rick Riordan
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I finally finished the Magnus Chase trilogy!! Read the first two last year and then got distracted by other books. But I finished it! I think the last volume is fine: interesting and funny but maybe not quite on the same level as the first two? I’m mostly just disappointed that my favorite character, Hearth, didn’t seem to be in this one as much. . . . Oh, I really like the way they defeat Loki at the end! (. . . Come on, you know they’re going to; that’s not a spoiler!)
 
Viper and Steel by Megan O’Russell

This is the third Ilbrea book, and the series does need to be read in order, so start with Inker and Crown. Hmm, I guess I have the same thing to say about this book as about Magnus Chase 3: my favorite character (Adrial) wasn’t in it as much as the previous two volumes, and that was a bummer. But this is a good book, well written and polished, an exciting adventure with plenty of magic and danger. I’m going to read the next book, and we’d better get more Adrial! And I hope better things happen to the poor guy. . . .
 
By These Ten Bones by Clare B. Dunkle

This is my tenth(?) reread of this book, so that tells you how much I adore it. Plus, it’s fairly short, which makes it an easy reread. Whenever I pick it back up, I do so in the fall, as it’s the perfect spooky story for chilly fall nights. It’s a werewolf story that takes place in medieval Scotland. It’s the cursed kind of werewolf, like in my book—hey, add this one to your gift bundle that I mentioned last month! ;)
 
Demon: A Memoir by Tosca Lee

Oh my gosh, I will never look at the world, or think about the spiritual realm, in the same way again! Lee delivers, once again, the most beautiful prose and incredibly insightful content! (This is a Christian book, FYI. I saw a reviewer complaining that the book’s marketing hadn’t made that obvious, so I’ll say it here.) I found it fascinating to get a demon’s perspective on humanity and history. I especially liked the line about how Satan is still sulking, in the present day, about failing to corrupt Job! Heh. Anyway, if the title and cover put you off, the book’s not as dark and scary as they would lead you to believe. If I had to pick one word to describe this book, it would be “enthralling.”
 
Of Beast and Beauty by Stacey Jay

I’m not done with this book yet; I’m not even half done (as I write this on Dec 20). But I thought I would include it here anyway, though I probably won’t finish by the end of the year. It’s a very different kind of Beauty and the Beast retelling than I’ve read before; it’s sci-fi and takes place on a fictional planet that off-worlders have colonized, building domed cities to protect against the harsh desert environment. These people—known as the Smooth Skins—call the people outside the domes Monstrous because of the mutations the planet has given them to adapt. (So, you can guess the Beast character is one of the Monstrous and the Belle character is a Smooth Skin . . . with a bit of a twist I won’t spoil!) I’m liking the book so far, although it’s probably not going to end up being my favorite BatB retelling.
 
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Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy New Year, and all that good stuff! Hope you’re having a lovely, peaceful end of the year.

I’m carrying on the tradition! This month and next month, I’ll be sharing all the fiction books I read in the second half of this year (see June and July for the first half).

Well, let’s get to it!

Hostage Run and Game Over by Andrew Klavan
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These are the second and third books in Klavan’s YA cyber-thriller Mindwar trilogy, and they were just as good as the first book! The premise is that Rick, a recent high-school grad who was too injured to accept his college football scholarship, gets recruited by a secret government agency to help them fight a war in cyberspace. An ev*l Russ*an genius is trying to take down the U.S., and Rick (along with his kickass maybe-girlfriend and various government operatives) must stop him! I breezed right through the trilogy and enjoyed every heart-stopping moment!
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The Star-Touched Queen by Roshani Chokshi

This is an Indian retelling of Hades and Persephone (a myth I really like). It’s gorgeously written with many lyrical lines that lingered in my mind. I did find, though, that the pacing was a bit slow at times. (The fact that I’d just read the cyber-thrillers above didn’t help, I’m sure . . . heh.) But I finished the book and don’t regret it! The pacing issue is the only one I had; everything else was great. I also really liked the demon horse, Kamala. She cracks me up!

Lycanthropy and Other Chronic Illnesses by Kristen O’Neal

This book. THIS BOOK. . . . I LOVED this book!! It’s sad and funny and SUPER relatable to anyone who (like me) has a chronic illness. Priya and Brigid have such a cute, sweet relationship, and Spencer is so funny! I thought this novel was going to be a lot like mine, but it’s got significant differences. For one thing, it’s full of text messages, Discord chats, and has a very Gen Z feel—whereas an Elder Millennial wrote my book. Plus, it’s a horror comedy with plenty of laughs and silly situations, and my book is heavier on the suspense and—okay, I’ll admit it!—angst. O’Neal uses lycanthropy as a metaphor for chronic illness like I do, though, so you could definitely lump our books together in a themed gift bundle or something. I mean, y’know, like for someone’s holiday present . . . ;)

The Gem of Tagath by Jason Dorough

This is a novella and a prequel to Akithar’s Greatest Trick (a book I absolutely adored). It’s a heist story starring a jaded teen girl thief, and it only has one of the characters from Akithar in it—and not my favorite character. But the story is well-written and entertaining. It’s a look at Dorough’s awesome world of Teshovar from a different angle, and it expands the world/lore a little more. I hear the next full book (Lizandra’s Deepest Fear) is coming out soon, and I can’t wait!! It seems like it might be helpful to read this novella to gain some background information before reading the new book. I didn’t need it to understand Akithar, though.

Lore Olympus vols. 1–5 by Rachel Smythe

I LOVED these graphic novels!! You’ve probably heard of them and/or seen the webtoon—well, I’ve seen it everywhere—and the library finally got the books in for me; the wait list was huge! More Hades and Persephone, yay! And kudos to Smythe for giving Persephone the “correct” birthday . . . which is mine too! Anyway, these books are cute and sweet but also kind of dark and gritty at the same time—by that, I mean there are many unhealthy relationships. (It is the Greek gods, after all!) There’s a content warning in the front about that. It’s a modern spin on Olympus; Hades is like a CEO and works in a high-rise office building, they have computers and all that stuff, and they often dress in modern clothes but sometimes appear in togas. It’s kind of a quirky-girl-and-broken-boy pairing and I’m TOTALLY HERE FOR THAT. <3
 

I’ll stop here—stay tuned in about a month for the rest of the list!

​As I write this, I’m trying to ignore the tinnitus in my left ear. It started this morning when I woke up (45 minutes before my alarm, thanks to a call from the doctor’s office, grr) and hasn’t gone away yet. It’s probably due to the change in air pressure; a front moved in last night and there was a big storm and it’s still overcast late this morning as I type. Oh well, at least I don’t have a pressure-change migraine. And I’ve got my UV lamp on to ward off the glooms.

On Tuesday morning, the internet was out (btw, I have a TON of work this week, largely involving the internet) and none of the many troubleshooting things I tried helped, so I had to have a tech come. He discovered that the fiber optic cable on the back of the house had been improperly installed and gotten pinched, and he had to replace it. At least he was actually able to come 1.5 hours after I called. While I waited for him, I was crouching down cleaning the bathroom floor, stood back up too close to the sharp corner of the sink countertop, and now I have a nasty little bruise over my left eye that is still tender.
 
Well. This is my life right now. A series of annoying events that I know could be much worse and I’m just slogging along waiting for an uptick in fortune. My health hasn’t been great, I’ve already had my fifth bronchoscopy this year—unusually frequent for me—and the pulmonologist still isn’t happy with the results even though my meds got upped a few months ago. I’m waiting for the rheumatologist to call (who’s a week late, as per usual) to see if he’ll make me go back on d*mon pills . . . I have a counter offer for him, though, which I hope he goes for. I can still try switching from Imuran back to Methotrexate instead of the dreaded d*mons. He’s a decent guy, prefers not to give people the d*mons except as a last resort, and I don’t think I’m quite there yet.
 
(I can breathe okay. I do, unfortunately, have a lung infection thanks to all the immunosuppressants I’m on. Ugh. They’re keeping an eye on that because the treatment is long and terrible, so they won’t give it to me unless things get dire. This means I’ve also had several appointments with an infectious disease specialist lately. So many appointments . . .)
 
This post is reminding me of—and was probably inspired by—the book I’m currently reading: Lycanthropy and Other Chronic Illnesses by Kristen O’Neal. It’s a horror-comedy that I’m absolutely LOVING, and it’s a perfect book for me! Werewolves and chronic illness are “my thing” and I wish I’d picked up the book sooner! ;) Well, no, this seems like good timing to read it. It’s really empathizing with me. It’s a fairly quick read, but I’m trying not to get through it too fast. I want to savor it—that, and parts of it are a bit heavy. (Other parts are SO funny, though!) I guess I’d call it a “hard but healing” book . . . or something. The main character, Priya, has chronic Lyme disease and is in a Discord community of people with various chronic illnesses, and the book contains a lot of their chats. The stuff they talk about is SUPER relatable, almost all of it!! I’m not really in a group like that, but I do have several friends with chronic illnesses whom I can talk to and empathize with. So I have a sort of community. It works for me.
 
Yeah, I think the raw honesty of the book, which portrays very well the way things are in the daily life of chronically ill people, has definitely spilled out into this blog post. I try not to whine and complain, but sometimes truths like this about my life just need to come out, so I can take a deep breath, push through it, and keep going.
 
. . . All right, there, I’ve updated my blog for the month and now I really need to get back to work! Despite all the craziness of life, by the grace of God I just keep swimming. . . .
 
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P.S. Here’s my song for right now! I noticed the Lycanthropy book has a couple of playlists at the back that I want to listen to! :)

​This post is a continuation from last month’s. Here are the rest of the (fiction) books I read in the first half of this year:

​Shadow of the Wolf by Tim Hall
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This is a Robin Hood retelling, and I thought it was a werewolf book, but it turns out it isn’t! Lol. I still really enjoyed it, though! It’s rather dark and sad, but it’s an interesting spin on Robin Hood that I haven’t seen anywhere else. Don’t want to be too spoilerish, but let’s just say that it reminds me of Daredevil a bit . . . okay, that’s probably a semi-big spoiler. ^_^;; Anyway, it was rather heart-breaking because Robin and Marian go through such awful, awful stuff! They grew up together and now they’re separated, trying to get back to each other, but the absolute worst keeps happening to them. My goodness, if you like it when authors torture their characters to the max, read this book! ;P I would read the sequel (Winter’s Teeth) but I can’t find it; it’s not on Amazon. Goodreads says it came out in 2016, but I don’t think it did!
 
Curse of the Night Wolf by Paul Stewart and Chris Riddell

This is a middle-grade book that takes place in London in the 1800s(?). The main character, Barnaby Grimes, is a “tick-tock lad” who runs errands and delivers messages for people all across the city, basically doing parkour across rooftops to avoid the busy streets so he can get to his destinations as quickly as possible. It’s pretty exciting and, yes, it is a werewolf book. Since I’m a grown adult, I was able to solve the mystery, but the primary audience is kids, so maybe the whodunit would be a riddle to them. It’s quite an atmospheric book and I’d recommend it.
 
The Taskmaster by Katherine Vick

This is the fourth and final Plot Bandits book, and it came out last month! It’s just as hilarious as the first three! If you love Terry Pratchett books, you’ll probably love these ones too! Vick is brilliant at physical comedy, and you would not believe the amount of ways she can think of to have fun with a beheaded—yet still very much alive—character. (There’s no gore; it’s silly like Monty Python.) It’s good, clean fun and also has a great underlying social-justice type of message. Hooray for a finished series!!
 
Skin Deep by Kendra Merritt

This is another Beauty and the Beast retelling, and I think it’s my favorite one now! I loved it, love the world-building and the characters’ spunkiness and especially love the disability rep! I’m always looking for more books with good d.r. This one is, of course, a romance, but it’s more than that. The two main characters are both badly wounded/traumatized, in different ways, and they are together in the castle but not in the same way Disney’s Belle was (an actual prisoner). This “Belle” is a magic-user and she’s trying to break the Beast’s curse, so the plot revolves around that struggle as well as their relationship, and there’s a nice twist at the end I didn’t guess—though I figured out early on who cast the curse. Merritt has written a whole series of fairy-tale retellings that take place in the same fantasy world this one does. I definitely will read more of them!
 
Heir of the Line by Eric James Stone

I absolutely loved the first maybe two-thirds of this book—great characters, great world-building, great disability rep. But the rest of it was a real letdown. The ending was too rushed, and there was no foreshadowing of a certain terrible thing (well, there kind of was, but not really; can’t explain without spoilers) and I think this long book should have been split into two so the ending didn’t have to be so rushed. Also, I hate it when authors write such wonderful, noble, loveable characters and then unalive them, and this case was especially bad because it seems it was just to make some kind of point (theme) that I don’t think was even necessary to make! The plot turned a very different way than I expected, and usually that’s okay, but not in this case. Narrative promises seem to have been broken. I’m bummed because I’m trying to find more awesome indie books to recommend to people, and I don’t think I would recommend this one now that I’ve finished it. Unless you don’t mind having your heart ripped out.
 
Skate the Seeker by Jeff Ayers

This is the sequel to Skate the Thief and it comes out September 12th! Book 1 takes place in the bustling port city of Caribol and revolves around young thief Skate’s ethical dilemma, plus wizardry and an awesome & unique magical creature named Rattle <3 and a crime syndicate and a man trapped in a crystal ball. Book 2 is a quest story: Skate and friends go on a long, dangerous journey (pursued by deadly, creepy enemies) to bring back her lost mentor. It expands Skate’s world greatly, and it’s really cool to learn about her country and the one bordering it to the south. There’s a map too—yay for fantasy maps! :D Can’t wait for this book to come out so everyone else can enjoy it too! (P.S. I didn’t think it was possible, but Rattle gets even MORE adorable in book 2!!)
 
Nabari No Ou manga vols. 1–14 by Yukhi Kamatani

This is a ninja story, but it’s not really a ninja story. I mean, it is but it’s so much more. There’s a lot of sad stuff that happens, though, so don’t read these books if you can’t handle blood and death and suffering characters. I watched the anime a while ago, then recently was reminded of the manga and thought I should read it, and it wasn’t too long and the library had it, so, yeah! The ending is different than the anime’s—I think I like the anime’s a little better, though the manga has more detail about the characters and their world that I was glad to learn about.

The Star-Crossed Pelican by Laura Ruth Loomis

This is the sequel to Loomis’s The Cosmic Turkey and it is JUST as hilarious and fun!!! If you like Douglas Adams’ books, try these! (Well, Pelican doesn’t come out till December . . . heh. So read Turkey while you wait.) Our poor loveable protagonist, Janet, can’t seem to get technology to cooperate, finding herself in various mishaps that land her with the choice (in book 1) of either going to jail or captaining a dilapidated starship. When she boards the turkey-shaped ship, she meets her misfit crew and realizes this is going to be one wild journey! They’re sent to Pluto to rescue an Earth scientist . . . and Pluto is NOT a nice place to be. I mean, the worst thing of all: chocolate is illegal!!! *gasps in horror* LOL! Can you tell I’m a chocoholic?? If you are too, have chocolate on hand to eat while you’re reading! These books are short and sweet and SO much fun!
 
MindWar by Andrew Klavan

I LOVE Andrew Klavan’s books!! I’ve read two of his nonfiction titles, and Werewolf Cop (a gritty, hard-boiled noir), and wanted to read more of his fiction. Well, I found MindWar through an Amazon email (“Since you bought X, you might like this”) and I usually ignore those, but something about this book enticed me to buy it! After it came in the mail, I sped through it; it was such a riveting, fast-paced read! I just had to order the two sequels, and I’m glad they arrived quickly! I’m currently speeding through book 2, Hostage Run. Oh, this is a YA cyber-thriller series, and I sure do recommend it!
 
Well, that’s all the books I’ve read this year so far (as of the time I typed this). I’ll do a year-end reading check in November and December!

Happy summer, and happy reading!
 
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P.S. – This summer has been quite busy and FUN for me so far, with—on top of my usual workload—selling Thinklings’ books at two different local comic cons! I also took a vacation to visit my brother in beautiful Maine . . . Acadia National Park and various other places that I will try to post about soon! (Just got back and catching up on work stuff!)

P.P.S. – If you enjoy these book recommendations, why not sign up for Thinklings’ newsletter? I’m the one who writes it, and Deborah and I have similar (and very excellent ;) taste in books! Most of the recommendations come from her and me.