As I write this, I’m trying to ignore the tinnitus in my left ear. It started this morning when I woke up (45 minutes before my alarm, thanks to a call from the doctor’s office, grr) and hasn’t gone away yet. It’s probably due to the change in air pressure; a front moved in last night and there was a big storm and it’s still overcast late this morning as I type. Oh well, at least I don’t have a pressure-change migraine. And I’ve got my UV lamp on to ward off the glooms.
On Tuesday morning, the internet was out (btw, I have a TON of work this week, largely involving the internet) and none of the many troubleshooting things I tried helped, so I had to have a tech come. He discovered that the fiber optic cable on the back of the house had been improperly installed and gotten pinched, and he had to replace it. At least he was actually able to come 1.5 hours after I called. While I waited for him, I was crouching down cleaning the bathroom floor, stood back up too close to the sharp corner of the sink countertop, and now I have a nasty little bruise over my left eye that is still tender.
Well. This is my life right now. A series of annoying events that I know could be much worse and I’m just slogging along waiting for an uptick in fortune. My health hasn’t been great, I’ve already had my fifth bronchoscopy this year—unusually frequent for me—and the pulmonologist still isn’t happy with the results even though my meds got upped a few months ago. I’m waiting for the rheumatologist to call (who’s a week late, as per usual) to see if he’ll make me go back on d*mon pills . . . I have a counter offer for him, though, which I hope he goes for. I can still try switching from Imuran back to Methotrexate instead of the dreaded d*mons. He’s a decent guy, prefers not to give people the d*mons except as a last resort, and I don’t think I’m quite there yet.
(I can breathe okay. I do, unfortunately, have a lung infection thanks to all the immunosuppressants I’m on. Ugh. They’re keeping an eye on that because the treatment is long and terrible, so they won’t give it to me unless things get dire. This means I’ve also had several appointments with an infectious disease specialist lately. So many appointments . . .)
This post is reminding me of—and was probably inspired by—the book I’m currently reading: Lycanthropy and Other Chronic Illnesses by Kristen O’Neal. It’s a horror-comedy that I’m absolutely LOVING, and it’s a perfect book for me! Werewolves and chronic illness are “my thing” and I wish I’d picked up the book sooner! ;) Well, no, this seems like good timing to read it. It’s really empathizing with me. It’s a fairly quick read, but I’m trying not to get through it too fast. I want to savor it—that, and parts of it are a bit heavy. (Other parts are SO funny, though!) I guess I’d call it a “hard but healing” book . . . or something. The main character, Priya, has chronic Lyme disease and is in a Discord community of people with various chronic illnesses, and the book contains a lot of their chats. The stuff they talk about is SUPER relatable, almost all of it!! I’m not really in a group like that, but I do have several friends with chronic illnesses whom I can talk to and empathize with. So I have a sort of community. It works for me.
Yeah, I think the raw honesty of the book, which portrays very well the way things are in the daily life of chronically ill people, has definitely spilled out into this blog post. I try not to whine and complain, but sometimes truths like this about my life just need to come out, so I can take a deep breath, push through it, and keep going.
. . . All right, there, I’ve updated my blog for the month and now I really need to get back to work! Despite all the craziness of life, by the grace of God I just keep swimming. . . .
P.S. Here’s my song for right now! I noticed the Lycanthropy book has a couple of playlists at the back that I want to listen to! :)
Sarah Awa lives in Ohio with two hairy guys and writes books about werewolves.